Tests and Biopsy

Well today is 10 days post chemo and I have to say that I am very HAPPY,  like a lot happier than I was last Saturday. Last Saturday my body was in total shock as to what was happening to it, I'm sure that my body was saying really this SHIT again Marie. Can you please give it a break I only want to play tennis, spend time with family and friends, vacation somewhere really nice you know what I mean. I've always found these health issues that keep popping up, an inconvenience a disruption in my incredibly busy life style, and this particular time it has come at the absolute worse of  times.

So as promised here's how it all started, remember how I mentioned it all started two days before my trip to Costa Rica well here it is. I've always been one who often sleeps on my tummy, and around March 22nd I felt this pain in my left breast, it was very uncomfortable to the point that I needed to reposition my sleeping. Ironically like my son who has the gift of sight I had this niggling feeling that something may be not quite right. I quickly put it out of my head because I knew the next day we were staying in Toronto overnight before travelling to Costa Rica with two of our dearest friends the Viger's. Well that night again I had that same pain in my left breast and that same niggling feeling, only to put it out of my mind quickly, after all we would be in Costa Rica Monday March 24th for our long anticipated vacation.

April 8th 2025 I had an annual CT scan on my lungs due to lung nodules, and a couple weeks later I got that dreaded phone call that they had seen an enlarged axillary lymph node in my left arm pit. That niggling feeling that I had and went away just like the pain had come back but this time I was on high alert. My family doctor had said that usually an enlarged axillary lymph node indicates breast cancer and asked me if I had felt anything in my breast. I of course had not at that time and did not think to tell her that I did have pain in my breast for a couple days in March. However what I did think to tell her was that my poor aunt Suzie, my dads youngest sister had just passed away and that there is strong history of breast and ovarian cancer in his family. She of course was very sympathetic and said she would make all the arrangements for a mammogram, ultrasound and possible tomography, biopsy as recommended by the radiologist who read the report. 

Fast forward a few weeks to Thursday May 15th 2025  I have my dreaded mammogram and as all women can attest, having one of those has got to be one of the worse things, you try not to move while one boobie at a time gets flattened in a panini press, because should you try to move one of your boobs would surely fall off they have them vise gripped in pretty good. Shortly after the mammogram I have an ultrasound, and the technician informs me that due to Monday being Victory Day I would not have results until Wed/Thurs of the following week at the latest. Not wanting to tell a soul other than my poor husband Shawn, who after seeing our daughter go through 6 grueling months of chemo would more then likely have to see his wife go through it as well. Because let's be totally honest that's just my luck, not that I'm a pessimist because I'm a general optimist but it seems every decade I seem to be the one to get weird things. Thursday May 22nd  I get that phone call with an appointment for Monday May 26th 2025 at 9am for a biopsy,  on the enlarged lymph node and left breast. The radiologist doing the procedure informed me that I would have the biopsy results in 7 days. To be honest all I could think of is finally I will know, is it or is it not CANCER so that I can deal with it like I've dealt with other issues and move on. I'm not saying I'm going to deal with it happily believe me I'm not thrilled I'm angry and a little bit annoyed that this is going to disrupt and affect me in the worse possible way again.

Wednesday June 4th I get that phone call from my family doctors office as I'm driving through a Starbucks in Barrie, I was on my way home from my moms who lives in Sturgeon Falls. Funny how certain moments remain frozen in time on exactly what you were doing when it comes to life changing events, for instance the Twin Towers coming down in New York City. Guaranteed most of my friends and family members knew exactly what they were doing that day. I was in the barn doing what I loved shoveling shit for 2 horses that I loved and still miss today. After speaking to the receptionist at the doctors office, I chose to receive the results the very next morning at 9am because getting results while driving alone on the 400 was not a great idea, one never knows how they would react even though I already knew what the results would be and that Shawn really wanted to be with me. 

Thursday June 5th 2025 Invasive Mammary Carcinoma "Cancer" You need to see a surgeon! What I say as tears roll down my face for the first time since March 22nd, when I first had that niggling feeling. I'm crying not because I'm sad or even afraid of what's to come. I'm crying because I'm thinking of  how can I possibly be there for everyone, particularly my mother who suffers from dementia and mental health. I'm beside myself with stress and anxiety and feel ashamed at the same time for breaking down in the doctors office. I quickly wipe my tears and thank him for having the foresight to follow up on my lung nodules, because even though I was scheduled for a mammogram this summer, having had this CT scan months earlier likely made the difference of it not having spread beyond where it already was.

I wanted to let everyone know how incredibly blessed and grateful I have been to everyone who has reached out to me with their heartfelt words of encouragement and positive vibes, either by sending me beautiful cards, FB and text messages, visits, luncheons, flowers or a lasagna that my amazing brother in law Roger made for me today. I've overwhelmed with emotion reading and rereading every single message, knowing that you are all there cheering me on has truly made this somewhat easier. I have never felt so loved!!!!! Thank you!!!!

 In closing I wanted to share a photo of my very dear friend Joanne who we vacationed with in Costa Rica, looking at that photo now I think of how happy I was to be there with her, unsuspecting of what was to come. I also wanted to share one of the reasons I've been so incredibly happy the last couple days besides feeling much better from the assault of chemo 10 days ago. My Fav friends which is what our group has been named surprised me with them yesterday along with a spontaneous visit, "SUNFLOWERS" I Love Them!!!!!